I was confident.
I was okay.
I was starting to see the end of the tunnel. the light. the sun.
Then it was dark.
The pain in my head was so much to bear.
I felt the urge to cry.
1 time. then a 2nd. then a 3rd.
I didn't give in.
For all I thought was: What good could crying be now?
I used to cry before.
And it only made me feel worse. more lost. more unsure.
I swallowed my tears.
I asked myself why did I suddenly go blind?
I couldn't form an answer.
I thought about speaking to my bestie.
But I didn't want to overwhelm her.
And I didn't want to always speak to her every single time I am feeling down.
So I pretended I am speaking to her.
"Mom I am not feeling okay, again. I was feeling okay, but suddenly I was blinded. I am now lost in desperation. Not sure what to do."
she said," why are you feeling like that?"
I say,"I had a hope, a plan and it was crushed. It was said it isn't adequate to get me where I want.I was so sure it would work that now that it is said to not be so is as if I was blindfolded. "
I imagine her saying," You are well enough to figure things out. You are smart enough that this plan was not necessary but complementary. Why are you worrying about the future so much? Rest and tomorrow you will see how the future unfolds. Your worry will do no more than becoming a weight too heavy to hold, so let it go."
And thus I was restored.
But the pain in my head continued.
I decided it will not stop me.
It hurts beyond anything words could portray.
Nevertheless, I am fighting on.
Struggling in the dark.
Not giving up.
Not giving in to worry and fear.
I open my eyes and here I am seeing the light.
kind of unsure where to step.
But I see the light.
I learned that it was a dream.
A dream in my conscious mind.
It was more like an illusion.
I wasn't really blindfolded.
But it seemed so true.
The pain is still persisting as a proof.
I learned that sometimes we feel sad, or mad for no reason.
All it takes is for us to step back and think things over.
It will seem so real.
But now You know.
The antidote that will make you carry on.
step back. Speak. scream. Express.
Be honest with yourself.
And you will see the blindfold fade as a cloud passing in front of a blazing sun.
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List of inspiring songs
- Hold on by extreme music
- Unstoppable from Ballerina(which is a great inspiring movie as well)
- You know it is about you from Ballerina
- Sia suitcase
- Dead hearts by stars(it isn't inspiring exactly but do listen to it)
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I am a book lover.
My posts are inspired by my life.
My blog is not only about books it's about the life of a book lover...Me.
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